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Post by Dash Starlight on Aug 7, 2016 20:25:22 GMT
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
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Para
Initiate 
Posts: 11 
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Post by Para on Oct 4, 2016 20:13:33 GMT
The Black Knight on the White Horse- Part the First
During the third crusade there was a little known battle in a forgotten village. This battle was a utter defeat for the crusaders and a small group of knights made a final stand in the entrance to the largest of the buildings. After taking many lives the knights were forced inside and the building was set ablaze. It was thought that all of the knights perished in the fire. That is, until - one day - a knight in blackened armour was seen travelling on a white horse on the south coast of England.
The black knight was riding to the Royal Palace, looking to find a role to play after his failed crusading. We join the knights journey the night before he arrived in the palace, as he approached an inn to stay the night. The weather was foul.
The Black Knight on the White Horse rode into the ground of the inn and dismounted. Before he touched the ground a stableboy was already upon him and asked, "Good evening sir Knight, may I stable your horse?" The Black Knight on the White Horse replied "Please do, I aim to stay the night." After handing the reins to the boy the Black Knight on the White Horse entered the inn.
The innkeeper was wary of knight ever since the crusades ended and many had turned to robbery. So the innkeeper asked "Who are you and what do you want?". The Black Knight on the White Horse responded "I am the Black Knight on the White Horse and I wish to stay the night." The innkeeper was feeling very unnerved by this man in full battle-dress whose face he could not see and stated "If you wish to stay here then you must remove your helmet so we may know who wishes to stay here." The Black Knight on the White Horse, however, refused to do so. The innkeeper therefore refused a room to the man but, being a not heartless, allowed the Black Knight on the White Horse to stay in the stables to keep dry.
The Black Knight on the White Horse went to the stable, took a sack from his saddle to use as a pillow and went to sleep on the floor of the inn. In the morning he awoke to the sight of a serving girl standing over him with some breakfast. Worried that she may have startled him the serving girl nervously said "Sorry sir knight, I did not mean to alarm you, I have brought your breakfast. The innkeeper wishes that, once you have eaten, you leave in haste."
Shortly afterwards the Black Knight on the White Horse was riding again towards the Royal Palace and arrived in good time. He dismounted his horse and approached the guard on duty. The guard called a challenge "State your name and purpose." The Black Knight on the White Horse responded "I am the Black Knight on the White Horse and I am here to see the king, to look for work". The guard then replied "The King is in the audience chamber and is taking visitors, you may enter." So the Black Knight on the White Horse entered the palace to see the King.
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Para
Initiate
Posts: 11
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Post by Para on Oct 4, 2016 20:14:40 GMT
The Black Knight on the White Horse- Part the Second
The Black Knight on the White Horse entered the audience chamber and approached the King. The King, seeing the Black Knight on the White Horse who he had heard rumours of, became curious and asked "Black Knight of the White Horse, what do you seek here?" The Black Knight on the White Horse responded "As you seem to know who I am oh King, I shall simply state that I am looking for work." The King, knowing of the fire from which this knight had clearly walked away had an idea "There is a dragon terrorizing a wealthy village two days ride from these very walls, I would have you slay it." The Black Knight on the White Horse responded "Then it shall be so."
Before the Black Knight on the White Horse left the King gave him an ornate box which could be attached to a saddle with the instruction that one of the dragon's ears should be cut off, placed in the box and brought back as proof of the deed. The Black Knight on the White Horse left the palace, attached the box to his saddle and began riding.
At the end of the first day he arrived at an inn, and again dismounted and handed his steed over to the stableboy, saying that he is the Black Knight on the White Horse and is on a mission for the King. He repeated this statement when he entered the inn and the innkeeper, though just as wary as the first, decided to allow the Black Knight on the White Horse a room for the night. So the Black Knight on the White Horse went to sleep on a fine bed, though still in full battle-dress.
When he awoke there was a maid in his room, startled he asked "Why were you in my room afore I even woke?". The maid was frightened by the strange, gravelly voice of the man and said "I heard you were on a mission for the King and wanted to ask you - evidently an honourable man - to aid me. For you see, my sister lives in a village a few hours from here and it is being terrorized by a dragon!" The Black Knight on the White Horse responded "This is my quest." and left the inn.
After riding for several hours he found sure signs of dragon activity: scorched earth, ripped up trees and a village with a complete lack of visible human activity. Following the signs he came upon the dragon's lair and engaged it in a long fight. He took several direct fiery blasts from the dragon with no signs of injury and this enraged the dragon. It breathed fire until it held no more and dropped down dead. Having defeated the dragon he walked up and cut off its left ear and put it in the box on his saddle. He then mounted his horse and began a slightly more leisurely journey back to the castle.
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Para
Initiate
Posts: 11
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Post by Para on Oct 4, 2016 20:15:01 GMT
The Black Knight on the White Horse- Part the Third
On his way back to the castle the Black Knight on the White Horse again stopped in the same inn, having taken the rest of the day to journey back there. As the Black Knight on the White Horse approached the inn the stableboy saw him, dropped a saddle he was carrying, stood with his jaw reaching his navel for a few seconds and the sprinted inside. By the time the Black Knight on the White Horse had entered the inn's grounds and dismounted the stableboy had returned to the yard with the maid and the innkeeper in tow. They congratulated him on his victory (for he was covered in dragon's blood - the deep purple of the royals) and began a great night of revelry, especially providing a lot of strong drinks for the Black Knight on the White Horse.
The Black Knight on the White Horse awoke the next day with quite a hangover and decided to leave the inn early before any more loud congratulations could be given. By the time he arrived at the Palace the Black Knight on the White Horse was hungry, tired and had quite the headache. After dismounting he approached the entrance, carrying the box, in a foul mood. The guard, who was not the same as the last time, challenged "What business have you here, drenched in foul smelling blood?" "I am the Black Knight on the White Horse and I must see the King" "The King is not here at the moment, he is away hunting and will not be back for several days, the Queen is in the audience chamber, if your business is urgent you should see her". The Black Knight on the White Horse entered the Palace and went to the audience chamber, he approached the throne in silence and placed the box, which the Queen recognized as belonging to the King, at her feet. She picked it up, opened it and said, "What's this 'ere then?"
forgive me
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Post by Dash Starlight on Nov 27, 2016 12:42:07 GMT
I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction.
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Post by Jaina D'Kana on Feb 14, 2017 21:09:35 GMT
I've deleted all my German friends from my mobile phone, it's now Hans-free
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Post by Dash Starlight on Mar 2, 2017 22:35:39 GMT
What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine? Give me my quarterback.
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